


Turkey

by GalaxyGhosty, Renegade_Asian



Category: JackSepticEye (YouTube RPF), PewDiePie (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brotp, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 06:45:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4696124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyGhosty/pseuds/GalaxyGhosty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renegade_Asian/pseuds/Renegade_Asian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. "I thought you disappeared."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turkey

**Author's Note:**

> **Galaxy_Ghost:** It's late. I'm tired. But I really wanted to write some brotp stuff and Ren was an absolute sweetheart in offering to write with me. It was so much fun working on this with him! I can't believe we pulled of 3k in like, two hours. It was _awesome_. Anyway, I hope to be able to write some more totally platonic Felix/Jack stuff in the future! Enjoy, guys! 
> 
> **Renegade_Asian:** I am completely honored to have had the chance to write with my old friend GG. As this is my first fic on AO3, I am happy to inform you that there will be more to come. I love all of you beautiful people. Happy reading.

His fingers trembled as he read the address to himself one more time, mouthing the words.

This was definitely it. This was definitely the place. It wasn't a mistake, unless his research was wrong, and these days, he'd prided himself in being absolutely precise. 

He let out a quiet sigh, shaky, his feet heavy as he approached the door to the apartment. It looked clean, nice, presentable--all the things that his friend had always been, that he probably still was. It wasn't as though he would know, but he guessed--and his guesses weren't usually wrong either. He smiled, despite his nerves--it felt good to be here, to be finally seeing him, after all this time. How would he react, he wondered? Probably anger. Probably frustration. Maybe hurt, regret, guilt--he didn't know. But he was ready to find out. Ready as he would ever be, he supposed.

Curling his fingers into a tight fist, Jack sucked in a deep breath and knocked on the door, rocking on his heels as the door slowly opened. 

A cold numbness ran up Felix's spine as he stared at his visitor. He could feel the blood flow away from his face, his bottom lip trembling in disbelief. For all intents and purposes, Felix looked like he had seen a ghost. Felix was certain he was staring at one.

"J-Jack, is...is that really you? Holy shit, Jack, is that you?!" Felix cried, his voice rising.

Jack's smile fell shortly thereafter. A sudden wave of nausea hit him, realizing that Felix was staring at him like he was a ghost, as if he was seeing right through him, as if he couldn't believe that Jack was actually before him. He swallowed down the vomit that threatened to climb up his throat as he mumbled back, "Yeah. Hey, Fe. Good to see you. I--I like what you did with your hair, heh."

He paused, then, and upon Felix's silence, he further inquired, "Fe? Hey...Fe, are you okay? C'mon, man--say, say _something_ , would you?"

Felix gave no response. The Swede's mind forced his body to move, taking one careful step after another until there was little space between the two men.

Felix embraced his best friend, holding back heavy tears that threatened to spill. He felt a catch in his throat as Jack's arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

"I thought you disappeared," he murmured, so soft Jack hardly heard him. 

The words echoed in his mind. Jack squeezed his friend tighter, pressing his face into the crook of his neck. It felt so bizarre to be back, to be here in this unfamiliar apartment. This wasn't the place they'd grown up at by any means, but it was close to their college--he supposed that was why Felix was here now. It had taken him so long to find out where Felix Kjellberg resided, and not let anyone know who he was or where he'd been. 

He breathed in, grounding himself, trying not to cry as well. Jack gripped the material of Felix's shirt hard between his fingers, tugging at it, as he mumbled, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I--"

Soft tears trickled down Felix's cheeks as he gently pulled away, a small smile on his face. Yet there was no restraint as Felix delivered a swift right hook straight into Jack's open jaw. There was a satisfying crack as his knuckles made contact, excluding the sharp pain that appeared in Felix's wrist. With the adrenaline pumping, Felix had no reason to hold back.

"Where the _fuck_ were you, you piece of shit?! Everything is fucking fine until you disappear one night? No note? No fucking calls?! You were _gone_ , Jack! You _left_ me!" Felix roared.

All things considered, Jack deserved that punch. Still, it was unexpected. He cupped his cheek, already feeling the blood rushing to the spot, the lingering sting enough to steer him to silence for a few moments, especially when the string of curses followed ensuite. Jack stared at him, eyes wide, unable to speak, his throat tight. What could he say to that? He could answer, sure, but would it do any good? 

"Felix," he mumbled, shame bubbling in his stomach. His skin crawled, the realization of how much his friend had missed him dawning on him. "Felix--God, I'm so--I'm so sorry--and nothing I can say is gonna fix that..." 

"Just shut up and get your Irish ass in here. I have some cold peas for the bruise," Felix said stiffly, making way for Jack to step inside.

Felix's apartment had a warm, cozy feel to it, Jack acknowledged. The tan walls were adorned with various pieces of art, as well as a few mirrors. The hallway in front of the entrance led to the living room, which connected to the kitchen by a half wall. Sweet scents rose from the oven as a beautiful woman pulled out a fresh batch of cookies. Memories of her came flooding back to Jack as he recalled a time in midsummer where the trio relaxed underneath an oak tree, working on the upcoming exams. He recalled her name a few moments later.

"Hey, Marzia. It's nice to see you again," Jack said.

Marzia's gaze fell on Jack, startled at the stranger in the apartment, before it shifted into an expression of confusion, almost recognition--but only a flash before her gaze slid to Felix. She raised a brow, questioning, and Jack elaborated, "Jack. Um. Jack McLoughlin. From--from college?" 

Her eyes lit up. She smiled at him. "Jack...Jack! Yes, I remember you. It's been ages since I've seen you. Since Felix has..."

Marzia's expression fell, and Jack's stomach churned uncomfortably. "Yeah, I--I know."

Jack caught the bag of frozen peas that Felix threw to him suddenly, slamming the freezer door shut. With a grin, Felix said, "Just leave it on the spot for a while. The ache will go away."

"You know, you didn't hit me that hard," Jack retorted. "You're really not as strong as you think you are." 

"Whatever," Felix scoffed, catching the bag as Jack tossed it back. "You still deserved it, you bastard." 

Jack opened his mouth to reply, then closed it, realizing that he really didn't have a good follow up to that. He glanced around the kitchen, liking the home-y feel, but he couldn't shake the nervousness that gnawed at him, indicating that he just--he really didn't belong here--not anymore. 

Noticing the uncomfortable look on Jack's face, Felix gave his old friend a reassuring smile. "Do you want something to drink? Something to eat? You're still scrawny as hell."

Jack refused the offer. "Are you sure?" Felix insisted, grabbing a warm cookie. "Marzia makes the best cookies. She uses Nutella instead of chocolate chips. And I know how much of a sucker you are for them cookies."

Not even Jack could resist the mouth-watering temptation of the baked delights. Taking a few cookies, Felix led Jack into the living room where the two men lounged on the couch. All was quiet before Felix spoke, "We'll consider that punch payback for last time."

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked in confusion. 

Felix smirked at the memory, "Don't you remember that time when you punched me in the face?"

Jack almost rebuked the statement, until a memory dawned on him. Slowly, his lips curled into a grin as he leaned back on the couch, murmuring, "Oh yeah. Well, that was only because you scared the piss out of me on Halloween. You know how much I fuckin' hate clowns, you ass." 

"I still didn't expect you to punch me in the face! It took Marzia a whole roll of toilet paper to stop the bleeding. I swear you broke my nose," Felix chuckled, his accent flaring slightly. "Besides, what about the time you put a whoopie cushion under my chair in our Digital Video and Media Technology course?"

"Hey," Jack pointed at him. "That was damn good. A classic. And that might have been bad but what about that time you made coffee for me when I was sick and put salt instead of sugar?"

Felix shrugged nonchalantly as he murmured, "Okay, that one might've been bad. You nearly threw up all over me."

"I should've," Jack stuck his tongue out. "Fuckin' asshole. Who gives bad coffee to a sick guy, anyway?" 

"Who puts saran wrap over the toilet seat when you know we just went to a fucking Mexican restaurant?!" Felix replied, crossing his arms.

Jack offered a half hearted shrug, followed by a grin. The tension in his shoulders loosened, and he shook his head, content with how this interaction was rolling out. He'd been fearful it would be too awkward or too nerve-wracking to do much of anything, but it seemed that a comfortableness was falling upon them, as if they were old friends. They were old friends, he realized, and let out a sigh.

They were still friends. 

As the two reminisced over classic pranks one pulled on the other, harmonious laughter filled the apartment. Despite the pleasantries, however, there was a gnawing feeling in the back of Felix's mind. He couldn't just ignore the fact that Jack was gone for two years, only to randomly appear once again.

A hard look set itself onto Felix's features as he sighed heavily. "Sean..." Felix started, staring down at the floor.

The use of his real name sent shivers through Jack. He tensed up immediately, lacing his fingers together, avoiding his gaze at all costs. Chewing at his lower lip, he didn't speak at first, before finally he settled on, "Yeah?"

Felix ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair. "Where did you go? Why...I mean, why would you just run off like that? It doesn't make sense."

"Do you really have to know?" Jack snapped. Then, realizing his harsh tone, he softened. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, crossing his arms in an almost defensive gesture as he followed up, "I mean, I'm...I'm here now. Does it really matter where I went?" 

"Some answers would be nice," Felix replied quietly. He could tell this was a rough subject for Jack, but his curiosity got the better of him. "Was it because of the night we slept together...?"

"No!" Jack recalled the memory, glancing fearfully over his shoulder for his friend's girlfriend. They had slept together years before Marzia ever came into the picture, in high school, so why the fuck was Felix bringing that up? "That was years ago, man! Like, let's be real, it wasn't _that_ memorable. You really think I'd leave over something that simple? And so long ago?"

Felix visibly frowned. "Then what was it? You have to tell me. I've been left with nothing but guilt for two years since you left. Two years! Do you know what that's like to think that you drove your best friend away? That it's your fault? It doesn't feel good, Jack."

Jack buried his face in his hands, letting out a low sigh. He didn't want to look at him--it would make him feel even worse. He swallowed down the nausea again, wishing that they could go back to talking about old times, as if he'd never left, but he knew that it wasn't possible. They couldn't go back to that, no matter how badly he wanted to. 

Sucking in a deep breath, Jack combed his fingers through his short locks, offering another shrug as he mumbled out, "Okay. So...so you know that my family is...pretty damn religious, right?" 

"Did they want you to go to Catholic school or something?" was Felix's initial reply. It dawned how stupid that idea was, but he couldn't take it back.

"I wish that was all it was," Jack murmured, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "But, uh. Basically--look, Fe, I'm--I'm gay as fuck, alright? Like, well--I mean, no, I'm not. I mean--it's just--okay. So I'm really fucking bisexual with a strong, strong preference to guys. And well, that's--that's not okay with. With my parents. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

Felix couldn't help but respond with, "So it was that memorable!"

"Damn it, Felix!" Jack hissed. "I ran away because my parents are homophobic as all hell and _I had to get away_!"

Jack's words quickly shut Felix down. Though Felix had merely experimented in his youth, he had no idea the struggles of someone contemplating their sexuality whilst dealing with homophobic parents. Even when Felix had dressed as a girl as a child, his parents laughed along and called him Felicia. He had no idea what he would do if they had begun screaming and berating him. Just the thought was terrifying. It was no wonder that Jack felt compelled to run away.

"Sean...I had no idea you--"

"Of course you didn't," Jack felt his anger boiling over. "Of course you didn't. Because your parents are fuckin' perfect, they'd accept you no matter what you'd do, or who you'd be doing. They would just love you no matter what and my parents have four other normal children, who cares about the fifth? The defective one, the one with something wrong with him, the one who doesn't fuckin' conform to that cookie cutter mold. Goddamn it, Felix, of course you had no idea. Why the hell would you?" 

He could feel tears welling in his eyes. He scrubbed them away furiously before they could ever fall. "So I ran. I ran away. Hopped a train and just ran. You would've tried to stop me if I'd told you--"

"I wouldn't have stopped you!" Felix countered, clearly upset by this accusation. A deep feeling of betrayal and anger overwhelmed him. He clenched his fists, hurt by the words of his best friend. After all they had been through since they were kids, Jack couldn't talk to him about this? Felix would've understood perfectly. Why didn't Jack feel he could come to him? "I would've tried to help you. You're my best friend and I care about you. The very least you could've done is let me in so I could help."

"But what could you have done?" Jack seethed. "We were both stupid in college. We were unstable at best, in utter chaos at worst. We were both muddling through in hopes of getting somewhere. You couldn't have helped me at all. There was nothing you could have done--nothing! So I did what I had to do. Can you really blame me for that, huh, Felix? Can you blame me for doing what I thought was best for me?"

"What about me? What about us? We were like brothers, but you abandoned me," Felix growled, furiously wiping a tear from his eye. "Did you even fucking think about me? How I felt in all this? You're the only one I could trust! Then you're gone in a flash. You weren't the only one who was alone, Sean. I was left alone the minute you walked out of that dorm. All because of you and your stupid thoughts that I couldn't have helped."

"It wasn't about you."

There was an unmistakable feeling of shame in Felix's mind as the words were uttered. Jack was right. Felix had turned this around just because he missed his best friend. This wasn't about him. It never had been. Jack was facing something far beyond Felix's comprehension and all Felix was worried about were his own damn feelings. While Felix felt guilt, Jack was stuck in a whirlwind of emotion. Fear, hurt, sadness. Jack had no other choice than to carry that burden. Felix should've been more understanding. He should've...

"You're right, Sean. You're right and I'm...I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

At his apology, Jack deflated, all anger leaving him. He let out a long sigh, squeezing his eyes shut, almost wishing he'd never come. Almost. But now that it was all there, out in the open, a weight felt as though it had been lifted from his shoulders. When he opened his eyes, he met Felix's gaze head on this time, clicking his tongue as he murmured, "It's okay. I--I forgive you." 

When the words left his mouth, Jack rubbed his eyes, a wave of exhaustion crashing into him. On a lighter note, he tentatively inquired, "So...when did you and Marzia move in together?"

Felix was too tired to keep going on about how much he missed Jack. He could settle for casual conversation. "A few months after we graduated. We both work full-time, so it's pretty easy to make ends meet."

"I see," Jack nodded. "That...that makes sense. You two were always good together." 

"Thanks. I think me and Marzia are perfect together and...I love her," Felix sighed, smiling to himself. His mind drifted to their upcoming anniversary, but Felix pushed the thought out of his head. "What about you? Where are you living now?"

Jack shrugged. "A few towns over. I didn't go far, I know. Little bit past the Delta area, if you know where I'm talking about? Nice place called Corona. But I left here and I used some money I'd saved up from some odd jobs to find a temporary living place. But let me tell you, that place was _crap_."

He looked away, as if remembering something fond. "But uh--I stayed there for a while. And I got a job at a game store, funny enough. Loved games all my life, ended up working at a place that sold 'em. It was normal for a while. The most interaction I had with anyone was the occasional word, and telling moms about the ratings of games. And then...and then he comes in." 

A mischievous smile crossed Felix's face as he wiggled his eyebrows. "Oh? And who is this mystery guy?" Felix was honestly glad that Jack had met someone. Even if Jack couldn't talk to Felix about his problems, maybe Jack could tell this man.

Jack grinned, despite himself. "Mark. Mark is his name. He--I ended up talking to him for hours the first time he came in. He bought a game but he stuck around and we just wouldn't stop talking. Had my manager on my case about it the next day, but fuck if I cared. He was just-- _amazing_." 

A soft sigh escaped him, recalling the scene in his mind. "So we liked each other--a lot. And he asked me on a date, so I said, fuck yes, you know? Like, there I was, away from anything comfortable, away from everything I'd ever loved in my life, and here walks in this total stranger who made me feel like myself again. Of course I said yes."

Whoever this Mark guy was, Felix wanted to thank him. All of Jack's previous inhibitions about his sexuality seemed to evaporate. It was obvious that Mark was certainly special in Jack's life. In all honesty, Felix was almost envious. He secretly wished Jack could confide in him what he does with Mark. But there was no denying the delight Felix got from seeing Jack so happy. His friend's clear blue eyes seemed to glaze over as he went on about Mark.

"And that was the best damn date I'd ever been on," Jack concluded. "Seriously. It was so fuckin' amazing that I just--I could relive it over and over and never get sick of it. So we went on a few more, dates I mean, and a few more after that, and we kissed and held hands and eventually--eventually we moved in together. Been living with him ever since. Met some of his friends, too, and they're all great. They like me and I like them. We hang out a lot, play games and I just--I'm the happiest I've ever been, you know?" 

He was smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. But then that smile softened, as he returned his gaze to his best friend. Blue met blue. "As perfect as it was though, I...I got a little nostalgic for home, I guess. About a week ago, I just--I started missing home like crazy--missed you like crazy, if I'm honest. And so I told Mark about it and he--he helped me find you. You're not exactly hidden, though--always liked to be in the spotlight, didn't you?" 

Jack didn't say the words with any malice or bitterness, more like fond amusement. 

"I'm gonna ignore how fucking creepy it is that you tracked me down, man," Felix laughed heartily. He bit his lower lip, patting Jack on the shoulder. "But I never stood in the spotlight alone. I've always had my best friend with me. Especially now that you're back, bro."

This time, Jack couldn't help himself from tearing up. He wiped at his eyes, though, unwilling to let them fall. "I really missed you, Fe. God. It was so hard not to come running back when I first left. You were the one thing I missed more than anything, you know? The only reason I would have ever considered coming back. The only reason I'm--I'm back here, now." 

He touched Felix's hand on his shoulder. "You should...you should come back with me, sometime. Come visit. Like I said, I'm not--I'm not too far from here. I'm sure Mark would like to meet you, I tell him about you all the time."

It was impossible for Felix to hide the heat that rose to his face from the contact. "I'd love to, Jack. Just be sure to call me and I'll be over faster than you run through Guinness."

"Please, Fe. Guinness is piss," Jack joked. "Really. You know that. We used to drink that shit together all the time despite how much ass it tasted like."

"You would know all about how ass tastes, wouldn't you?" 

"Fe!"

Felix chuckled, leaning in for one of his signature brofists he gave all the time in college. "For old times' sake?"

Jack's eyes lit up at the familiar gesture, curling his fingers into a fist to return it. However, as if to remind himself that the past was now over, he wanted to try something else. Something a little more...Jack. 

As they connected hands, Jack uncurled his fingers, instead high-fiving the brofist. Sticking his tongue out, he winked, "Turkey?" 

"Turkey," Felix replied, unable to contain his laughter at the silly gesture. "You mad, Irish bastard."

The duo erupted into giggles at that, together and content in each other's company for the first time in a long while.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!


End file.
